Sex in Second Life: A Beginner’s Guide

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Wondering how to have sex in Second Life?

With over a million players worldwide, Second Life is one of the most popular online games around and offers players an unconventional way to explore the world of sex.

From experiencing it in a different gender or sexuality to embracing kinks and fetishes that you’re too embarrassed to try out for real, Second Life sex can be wholly liberating.

In this guide to sex in Second Life, we take a closer look at how and why users have flocked to the platform to live out their inner-most desires. And why it has become one of the premier adult sex games.

From sex work like prostitution and escorting, to casual encounters and sex in relationships, we look at the mechanics of how users interact – as well as the psychology of why people choose to take part at all.

What is Second Life?

Launched in 2003, Second Life is a computer game in which players create an avatar of themselves and live inside a virtual multiplayer world.

With no winners and no losers, the game is all about experiencing an alternative reality and exploring a simulated life in which the ‘normal’ conventions of society don’t exist.

It’s one of the largest and longest-lived kinds of its genre available and, though its membership base has declined over the last few years, is still hugely popular.

You can pretty much do whatever you like in Second Life.

If you want to be a vampire, build your own porn empire or take up kite surfing, it’s all there for you to experience.

Sex in Second Life

Second Life players are as diverse as the characters they create for themselves and come in every shape, size, age, race and background.

Some players feel like Second Life allows them to be exactly who they want to be and can free them from constraints in the real, physical world.

Whether these are cultural or religious barriers or even disabilities, living an alternate reality in a virtual space lets people experiment. Users can modify everything from what they look like and how they act to the work they do and how they interact with others.

The primary motivation for them all is to connect with other people, to form relationships and to live out a fantasy life.

For many people, sex is just one element of this fantasy and Second Life offers plenty of ways to explore this very basic human need.

The Appeal of Cyber Sex in an Adult Game

We’ve covered dozens of sex simulators where you can control how the action unfolds, watching on-screen as your character enjoys energetic action with hot characters.

The adult gaming industry is big money and there is no shortage of games scratching this itch.

Games like Utherverse, Red Light Center, YaReel, and 3DX Chat offer even more interaction as the avatars you meet online all represent real people.

Just like you, they are getting their rocks off in the digital world.

However, the appeal for getting physical online isn’t just about the visuals of the 3D sex nor is it only having total control.

Players who enjoy Second Life are often people who are looking to create a new persona and to explore what it’s like to live as someone completely different to themselves.

Let’s face it, it wouldn’t be much of a fun experience if you simply created the same version of yourself online and did the same things you could in real life.

Lesbian Day in Second Life
Second Life celebrates International Lesbian Day.

Instead, communities on Second Life are often made up of people living fantasies where accountants can become housewives, lawyers try out becoming a construction worker, where men get to be women and vice versa.

You get the idea.

Living a second life is about trying something that’s different whether this is gender, sexuality, race, class, job and appearance so it follows that exploring cybersex can also be about experimenting.

A virtual world offers a space in which people who might be too embarrassed to try something a little kinky, or different, can do so without judgement.

Second Life is also a safe space and sex in a virtual environment like this means you can’t catch an STD or physically be harmed.

Unlike experimenting in the real world with sex that is a little edgy, you won’t be raped, beaten up or murdered by some serial killer!

In fact, you can’t be coerced into sex at all as you have the ultimate control in whether to consent to any activity.

What is Sex Like in Second Life?

So, what is it actually like to have sex in Second Life?

What kind of sex can you have and how do you have it?

What are the actual mechanics and what does it look like?

Types of Sex in Second Life

The world of Second Life is as diverse as real life (if not, more so) and you can engage in sexual activities of any kind providing it doesn’t involve sex with minors.

Even in this virtual environment, paedophilia and hebephilia are out of bounds; even age-play of any kind is to be avoided.

A sex scene
Image via Harlot.

This means you could explore the spectrum of sex as a non-binary gender, gay, lesbian, trans and other alternative sexualities.

You can even experiment with non-human avatars with furries being particularly popular.

Kinks and fetishes of all varieties are represented in Second Life but the game does have quite a large BDSM community.

Sub-divided into a huge range of diverse interests, each group has their own rules and codes of conduct.

For instance, there is a large Gor following in Second Life which is based on the novels of John Norman and where players try to recreate the D/s society described in his books.

It’s a bit different to the kind of BDSM you may be used to and is largely built around a community where the women are slaves, trained in the arts of giving pleasure to others. It’s not for everyone but at some point you will stumble across the Goreans and it’s well worth a look just to experience once.

Method of Sex in Second Life

Sex in Second Life is different for everyone but ultimately takes the shape of one of just a few actual methods.

Once you have met another player who wants to have sex with you, your avatars will animate the controls you choose on screen, simulating the kind of sex you want to have with each other.

For some people, simply watching (and controlling) their avatars is enough and they are able to enjoy this as part of their virtual character’s story. Some may masturbate along with their avatars to make it a mutually enjoyable experience.

The Second Life Marketplace
Buy your own animated poses at the marketplace.

For others who want to connect more with the experience, they can combine sexting and emoticons on screen to further enhance the atmosphere.

Then there are those players who really want to get involved with the players they are having sex with on screen and who like to use audio or visual additions to the whole act.

Yes, some players in Second Life incorporate phone or live video calls alongside the virtual action. Of course, what you do or say during these calls is down to the individuals but we all know how satisfying phone sex can be.

A sex club in Second Life
Pink Velvet Club.

The Mechanics of Animated Sex in Second Life

Sex, like many elements, in Second Life relies on animations in order to work visually.

You can’t just have sex anywhere and to start with you will need to have adult furniture which is compatible with sex animations, a pose-ball or a specific sex HUD (interface menu or ‘heads-up display).

There are lots of HUDs available for this purpose in the marketplace and can easily be found simply by typing ‘sex’ into the search tool (18+ mode).

Some popular sex HUDs include:

There are literally hundreds of varieties of MLP (multi-love pose) furniture, HUDs and pose balls you can try before you buy so the key is to shop around to find something that suits your interests.

Sex occurs when your avatar’s genitals touch and this results in a response from your partner(s) through scripted body parts.

Avatars can have a whole host of sensitive scripted areas that can be stimulated through touch and cause you to react including nipples, genitals and asses with some systems even allowing you to fully customize your own kinks.

Buying items in the Second Life store

Sexual Appliances

If it exists in real life, then it exists in Second Life, and you can find a vast range of devices and aids to help your avatar enjoy sex more.

All custom add-ons which must be paid for using the in-game currency of Linden Dollars ($L), you can buy any of these kinds of items in the Second Life store:

  • Custom Skins and Hair – Choose from a range of genitals, nipples and pubic hair. Far more realistic than the original skin you get given to begin with.
  • Unscripted Genitalia – The most basic of genitals, these cheap add-ons are visual aids only and do not interact with the genitalia of others
  • Scripted Genitalia – More sophisticated body parts that are interactive with other genitals. Some like those developed by Xcite even generate Chat in response to touch.
  • Strap-ons and Dildos
  • Poseballs – These colored spheres exist to animate avatars that sit on them, you can find plenty around Second Life but you can also buy your own to suit your needs.
  • Gestures and Sounds – Standard gestures don’t really cut it in Second Life when you are having sex so having your own collection of more appropriately ‘adult’ animations helps a lot.
  • Scripted Furniture – As we’ve mentioned already, in order to have sex in Second Life you need to have MLP furniture. These additions to your apartment offer hidden menus which allow you to animate sex with your avatar. Most interact with scripted genitalia
  • Heads-up-Displays (HUDs) – Just like scripted furniture, a HUD will offer a collection of pre-loaded animations to access for sexual activities.
  • Animation Overrides – AOs are basically a kind of script that can be embedded into objects or your avatar which gives them a unique personality or style. This can be something as simple as giving a confident walk when wearing a pair of shoes or a sexy standing position.

What Does Sex in Second Life Look Like?

The animations used in Second Life are pretty sophisticated and the sex element can also be extremely high quality when it comes to detail.

Depending on the mechanics you are employing and the type of HUD, pose-ball or MLP furniture, the responses and actions can be very realistic.

Some software has even been animated using motion capture technology so the on-screen actions are very faithful to real-life.

However, many animations are entirely fantastical and this is one of the pleasures of sex in Second Life; living out the improbable.

Lagging can be a big issue when using Second Life so, again, the quality of your own internet connection and PC can play a part.

Buy a sex pose

The bottom line though is that the visuals of sex in Second Life aren’t that ‘realistic’ and are certainly no substitute for watching porn or even comparable to some other specific 3D sex simulation games.

The beauty of sex here is that you are invested in your character and how your avatar connects with other people is important to your experience of the game overall. If you simply want to watch 3D characters get dirty then this might be the wrong game for you.

Just remember, being good at sex in Second Life is more than just knowing where to point and click, having the right sex appliances and pulling a few moves.

Here the focus is mainly on the experience as a whole, how you connect with another character and what you say.

Most people understand that a successful and satisfying sex life in this game is hugely reliant on having a creative and dirty imagination and how you communicate this in words.

Second Life motel
The Breeding Motel.

Etiquette of Sex in Second Life

So, that’s how sex works in Second Life but before you start running around trying to get it on with everyone you meet, there are a few things that you need to know.

Firstly, sex is not allowed in all areas of Second Life and you should only engage in adult activities in certain parts of the game. Getting busy in a PG rated region will result in you getting banned from the game.

Even in the adult zone of Zindra (see below) you should also make sure that you don’t have sex in a public place unless it is one that is specifically intended for such activities. Instead, you should rent a room, use your apartment or find a deserted space.

Zindra: The Adult Region of Second Life

Regions in Second Life are rated General (PG), Mature or Adult with the game’s developers creating a specific adult ‘mainland’ continent named Zindra.

The official zone was built in June 2009 in response to some of those residing in the more General region of the game desiring a more liberating place to live.

Only accessed by players who are 18 and over, Zindra hosts tons of adult homes and businesses and hosts dedicated events.

Adult clubs in Second Life

Picking Up

Just as in real-life, people don’t drop their pants for every guy that comes along who asks if they fancy a fuck, here in Second Life you will need to finesse your pickup skills.

Newbies are renowned for their inexperience in this area and it is reasonably obvious in the game just who these people are. Clothed in the most basic of outfits and literally stumbling from avatar to avatar, they stick out like a sore thumb and most seasoned Second Lifers will avoid them like the plague.

In order to pick-up a partner in Second Life, you will need to pay some attention to your appearance and play it more casually than a headless chicken holding on to his dick!

Players in Second Life (usually) want to be treated with respect so try and hone some good opening lines and see how it goes from there.

The Skinny Dip Inn.

Many players on Second Life want to be wined and dined in the same way that they might in the real world before they will want to put out so be prepared to go on dates and experiment with what works.

Of course, there are simply those players who are also looking for more casual encounters (check out the adult nightclubs in Zindra) and, if you just want to have sex then consider paying for it (see ‘Sex Work in Second Life’, below).

Using a Place

A lot of residences are open for public use and many contain some great sexual aids that can be a lot of fun to use. Whilst it is possible for you to use them for your own encounters you should always respect the property and leave it as you found it.

Most people will leave a note of thanks for the owner.

The Keyhole Club
The Keyhole Club and Motel.

Just be aware that the owner could walk in at any moment so it is preferable to have your own residence.

Remember what we said about public sex being a no-no; there are orgy rooms you can use if you want to be watched by others.

Causing Offense

When you explore Zindra you may well find other players doing things which cause you offense but it is advisable not to get into an argument with people and to just ignore it and go somewhere else; after all, Second Life is a huge continent.

Likewise, if you are caught doing something that offends someone else, or try pulling some moves that causes offense, stop. This may be a virtual world but respecting the etiquette of others is important to keep the environment a safe space.

Fetish sex in Second Life. Some scenes may cause offence to others; just walk away.


A well-used acronym in the fetish world for “Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay”, it pays to remember tolerance.

Whilst you may enjoy vanilla sex and be turned off by anything that is outside of missionary, you should observe the fact that there are different strokes for different folks.  

What Happens in Second Life…

…stays in Second Life.

It’s a general rule of thumb for most players and fully embraces the notion that this is a fantasy game with roleplay at it’s heart.

Yes, you may well have just cybered with a man old enough to be your father pretending to be a kinky 22 year old stripper but what you don’t know can’t hurt you.

Leave the personal questions at the door and just enjoy the experience of playing in this virtual world.

How to Have Sex in Second Life

So, you’ve met the right avatar (human or otherwise) and you’ve found the right place to do it.

The next stages are very much down to your own tastes and the kind of sexual appliances you have (or have found).

There is no one way to experience sex on Second Life so the following is just a list of suggestions:

Set the mood – you can control night and day in Second Life so adjusting the time to nightfall might be a romantic way to set the mood.

Some players will tune their radio in to one of the piped music stations on Second Life.

Or, if you have your own pad (or are borrowing someone else’s) then you may have access to a music system with the right choice of songs. Just remember that to share the experience you will need to set your viewers or else your partner will be seeing something completely different.

Sexy gear in Second Life

Start with some foreplay and indulge in some hugging and kissing using poseballs or MLP furniture.

Engage your partner in some sexy chat.

If you don’t, the atmosphere can get quite awkward quite quickly.

Tell your partner what you want them to do to you or vice versa. Remember that sex in Second Life is 90% about the imagination and mentally stimulating someone not about what happens on screen.

As things progress, you are going to want to strip off so make sure you have prepared a sexy pair of pants or lingerie under your outfit. Using the ‘Take Off’ , ‘Drop’ or ‘Detach’ commands you can reveal your next layer or just get naked.

Some clothing that you buy comes with the option that allows your partner to remove them for you.

Buy lingerie in the virtual world

Once the temperature starts to rise and you are ready to take things to the next level, then hop your avatar onto a poseball or piece of scripted furniture and let things take their course.

You simply need to stay on top of the chat as you bring each other off.

Cybering looks different to everyone but most people will touch themselves in a similar way to how their avatars are being stimulated to try and recreate that feeling alone.

Sex Work in Second Life

Finally, if you just want to have sex in Second Life and can’t be bothered with all the etiquette of picking up and dating then you could just use the professional services of a virtual escort.

Sex work in Second Life
The Lust Club.

Fairly common in Second Life, prostitutes and brothels can be found all around Zindra and must be paid for just like in real life.

Often used by people who want to explore paid sex or try out something a little kinky, these can be great places to learn the ropes before having sex with other players ‘for real’ in the game.

These are experienced players who really know their shit when it comes to sex in Second Life.

Not only can you learn a few things about the mechanics of animated/scripted sex but some of these escorts can use words in a way that will blow your mind.

Spending time with an escort will cost you plenty of $Ls but is well worth it for the education alone.

Featured image via Second Life.


Mike Morris

Mike is the Games editor at AdultVisor. He is chiefly responsible for sourcing, playing and reviewing the hottest new adult gaming titles. There aren’t many adult gaming genres that Mike hasn’t dipped his shaggy beard into — from wholesome visual novels to ‘shag-your-step-sister’ porn simulators. He’s contributed to several popular lewd games, working in Ren’py as a techie/scriptwriting jack of all (smut) trades. Mike has also been spotted in the wild at Gamescom, the Tokyo Game Show, and on popular adult gaming forums (F95Zone, LewdCorner). He's our resident porn gaming connoisseur.
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