How To Find A Hotwife

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If you’ve ever shared a workspace in the office then you’ll be familiar with the term ‘hotdesking’ and hotwifing is much the same thing. But instead of swapping a desk with a colleague this practice is MUCH more fun!

The polyamorous and swinging community know all about the pleasures of multiple partners but where can you find these hot married women who have sex with the consent of their partners?

We wanted to know more about where to find a hotwife so we’ve scoured the best dating sites around for cuckolds who want to share and where open relationships are on the menu.

How To Find a Hotwife Online

There are a ton of sites set up specifically for the swingers community and if you’re a husband who wants to see his partner getting dirty with strangers then check out our Best Cuckold Dating Sites feature.

If, however, you’re more of a bull who wants to help a hotwife humiliate her husband with some live action porn scenes then these are the sites for you.

Best Sites to Find a Hotwife

Some of the best sites to find hotwives are those that are set up specifically for the swinging community (such as swinging forums) or for casual dating.

Our first selection of sites includes some of the biggest hitters for lifestyle hookups including Kasidie, SDC and Adult Friend Finder.

Most of these sites are freemium models which mean you can use a lot of the add-on features and services for free but in order to get the best experience of hooking up you’ll need to pay for a subscription.


how to find a hotwife - SDC

SDC, an erotic dating platform for Swingers, Open-Minded Couples & Singles, is a major source of hookups for hotwives both in North & South America, Europe and Asia.

With almost 3 million hits a month, it’s one of the largest communities you can find for potential play partners. Plus, it’s one of the oldest and most active.

And although the site covers all states and major cities like New York, Las Vegas and Los Angeles SDC actually has a broader reach into more rural areas.

More than just a quick dating platform, what we love about this site is the community it fosters and the extra features you can enjoy.

This includes chatrooms, forums and information on swinger parties plus there’s even a great travel section so you can use the site to book your next lifestyle vacation.

SDC is a popular place for picking up information about the lifestyle and their blogs cover everything from the basics of polyamory to kinks, fetishes and more. It’s well worth bookmarking and you’ll definitely find their topics of interest….particularly those on sexual health, wellbeing and even relationships.

Of course, if its hotwives you are after then there are plenty of ways to find them on SDC and a quick trawl on the site reveals more than 20,000 members online and tons of listings for women on the hunt for their next bull.

In fact, around 20% of the 3 million + members on SDC are women and the estimated age range is:

  • 18 to 24: 15%
  • 25 to 34: 18%
  • 35 to 44: 20%
  • 45 to 54: 23%
  • 55+: 24%

And these women are easy enough to find on SDC using familiar social networking features including:

  • Forums
  • Groups
  • Chatroom
  • Direct Messenger
  • Speed Dating
  • SDC Feed

Plus, SDC is also available to use on the go as an app.

You can pick up a free trial for SDC which allows you to access almost 95% of the site’s features which should give you enough time to prove the system works for you. And once you reach the end of your trial, membership costs are pretty good.

Current prices start from $29.95 per month but if you pay in advance for a full year then this can be as little as $12.50!

Established in 1999, SDC is a solid, safe and easy choice for finding a hotwife, whether you’re based on London, New York or Rome. Definitely one for the shortlist!

Sign up here to give it a try.

Adult Friend Finder

how to find a hotwife - adult friend finder

Without exception, Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is THE largest network for casual sex and is widely used by the swinging community for arranging meets.

Ranked in the top 10 adult websites in the world and with more than 60 million monthly hits, it has an amazing international coverage. In fact, the site has more than 109 million registered members and, at any given time, you can connect with more than 60,000 of them.

Known the world over for being the #1 go-to for sex, AFF also offers far more than just an instant hookup.

Yes, this powerhouse of adult dating is another site which focuses on creating a community so you can find plenty of ways to network with hotwives and their consenting cucks.

As part of the network, members get access to a ton of educational material including advice, tips and blogs aimed at sex, dating and relationships PLUS an online magazine.

But, of course, you want to know whether Adult Friend Finder is any good for helping you find a hotwife. The short answer is ‘Yes’. And the long answer is ‘Yes, with knobs on’.

AFF offers a feature rich and easy to use platform to help you find married women who want sex now and tons of them are doing so with the full knowledge and approval of their husbands.

What we love about AFF is their coverage. There are few websites who can compete with the sheer volume of members so there should be no issues in finding someone local.

Also available as an app, AFF is free to use and you can usually get some success without forking out for a subscription. But, if you do want the best chance of a hookup, we recommend upgrading to a premium subscription.

Not only does this improve your visibility on the site and give you more access to the many features but it also allows to verify your profile. This should really help you increase your odds.

Gold membership costs $24.95 or you can pay for a year at $180 which reduces the monthly costs to just $14.95.

Despite AFF having some bad press over the years and the fact that the site is getting pretty dated, it remains one of the best places to hookup. Its reputation for fast and easy casual sex still makes it one of the best known and most used platforms and, for that reason, it’s a no-brainer to bookmark.

Of course, the fact it’s a huge platform does mean that it attracts more than its fair share of catfishes and scam artists. So, do be careful out there but, also, enjoy!


how to find a hotwife - alt

Known more for being a kinks and fetish dating site, Alt is definitely another great platform for finding hotwives.

Yes, more often than not, the profiles on here will have more of an edgy vibe to them and plenty are more interested in BDSM than your typical hookup.

Mainly covering the USA and Western Europe (including the UK, Germany and France), Alt is used for arranging munches and kinky dates.

In all, there are more than 2 million members and they’re a pretty active bunch. Sharing NSFW fantasy and fetish videos, photos and stories you can network with other users to find a kinky hotwife date.

Around 40-50% of members are from the states and there’s actually a pretty good proportion of women using Alt (estimated to be a 60:40 male/female ratio).

Again, Alt is free to join but if you want unlimited access to all the main features then you’ll have to pay for a premium subscription.

A monthly membership will set you back $29.95 but if you pay annually ($149.97) you get six months free (18 months) and that monthly cost goes down to under $8.50.

Not a first choice for everyone but this alternative and kinky side of hotwifing is well worth dipping into.


how to find a hotwife - kasidie

Kasidie is another of the main platforms used by the swinging community and, just like SDC, it’s about more than just hookups here.

Another service modelled on a social networking site rather than a simple dating/matching platform, Kasidie offers its members a whole range of ways to connect.

From forums and community groups to chat rooms and direct messaging, you can find plenty of hotwives who are horny for their next hookup.

Perhaps one of their best features is the local rendezvous tool which lets you find interested parties who live nearby for some casual play.

What we love about Kasidie is that it’s a great hub for all that useful lifestyle information that you can’t live without including:

  • Club Listings
  • Parties & Events
  • Industry Classifieds

And, again ,just like SDC there’s even a whole section on travel so if you want to meet a hotwife on holiday then they have a selection of swinger’s vacations to choose from.

See our guide: The best sex hotels with the kinkiest hotel rooms.

Kasidie is an easy site to use and has a great international coverage but is definitely more popular in North America.

The site gets around 1.6 million visitors each month and this includes around 1500-2000 new members each week.

And members are pretty active as well so your reply rate is quite good compared to other ‘dating’ style sites.

Also available to trial for free, membership costs are pretty competitive and start from just $19.95 per month or, if you pay annually ($129.95), this can be a low as $10.80.

Established in 2006, Kasidie is another solid choice for your hotwife hookups and with the addition of their apps, we think it’s one of the easiest platforms to use.

Swing Lifestyle

how to find a hotwife - swing lifestyle

Covering the United States only, Swing Lifestyle is perhaps the world’s largest community of cuckolds, hotwives and their partners. With almost 7 million monthly hits to the site and 93,000 chat rooms available this is a definite one to bookmark.

Just like Kasidie and SDC, this is much more than a simple dating or matching service with the emphasis being on social networking.

As a result, you can find plenty of ways to find a hotwife including via forums, chat and groups as well as through direct messaging, random matching and searching.

The idea behind Swing Lifestyle is to network with ‘Friends’ through the site and use the platform to connect in the same way you might through Facebook.

Other features on the site worth looking at include the Sexy Stories section where members can upload their erotic fiction, Event and Club listings plus Travel.

The best way to get started is to join some groups and/or contributing to the forums. Yes, you could start searching for random members local to you but most users prefer to have networked online first.

Available to use for free, you can enjoy a limited experience of the site without paying a dime but the best opportunities for hooking up are reserved for paying members.

Monthly subscription fees start at $19.95 but you can pay for a full year for just $69.95. Or, if you really want value for money then consider paying $149.95 which gives you access to Swing Lifestyle for life.

Launched in 2001, swingers in the USA looking to hotwife should find this a sure-fire way to get a hotwife hookup. Oh, and there is an app available to download if you want to make the most of the site’s features whilst you’re on the go.

Fab Swingers

how to find a hotwife - swing lifestyle

Ranked 6th globally in the Adult category of websites, Fab Swingers might not look like the sexiest of sites but with more than 30 million monthly hits, it’s one of the most popular. Well, in the United Kingdom anyway.

Yes, though this site does offer some coverage in Canada, USA and Australia it’s those swinging Brits that this next choice will appeal to more.

One of the main selling points of Fab Swingers is that it’s almost entirely free to use and there’s plenty of useful information available.

This includes event and club listings as well as message boards, chat and forums.

Of course, these all make excellent ways for members to find each other and to share hookups…including hotwifing.

There’s a great feature called Meet Today which is aimed at instant hookups.

And there’s tons of other great stuff here to keep you coming back from more including hot NSFW photos.

So, although this site is pretty dated in terms of design, it’s actually a really good platform to find lifestyle hookups.


Our next choice of the best site to find a hotwife on is good ‘ole Reddit.

This social networking, forum-based, news-aggregation site is the actual dog’s balls when it comes to finding niche groups and hotwifing is no different.

You can find loads of swinger’s subreddits, some dedicated specifically to hotwifing and cuckolds. These are some of the larger ones but there are tons of local groups:

Our Hotwives Forum

how to find a horny wife - our hotwives

Our final selection is similar to Reddit insomuch that this is a forum rather than a hookup site.

However, unlike Reddit, Our Hotwives Forum is ALL about the cuckolding lifestyle.

With 75,000+ members covering both the USA as well as European countries including Finland and Germany there’s quite a lot of sharing going on here.

And it’s not just wives.

A great place for lifestyle members to network with other cuckolds, hotwives and bulls, this forum covers everything from fantasies and stories to offers and events.

It might not be the best place to actually find a hotwife but it should give you a good network of likeminded souls to help you in your search.

Hotwife Hookup Sites

So, what about those dating and hookup sites that promise to cater ONLY for hotwifing?

We took a look at some of the most popular and we found a few which might be worth looking into.

All free to join casual dating sites where profiles are all (reportedly) those of hotwives, these are sites to hookup with married women who need real men.

Some of these sites do have limited coverage so it does pay to spend a day or so working out how many members are in your area before you upgrade your subscription.

how to find a horny wife

We know that many dating sites simply purchase databases of other platforms and this does mean that new services like this can have quite a few dead or fake profiles.

Whilst we’re not saying any of these falls into this category, we do know that there is limited reach in some areas.

If you live in one of the main US or European cities then you might find some good leads here. Just register a profile, search your area and start chatting.

how to find a hotwife - date a hotwife

Best Cuckold Sites to Find a Hotwife

You can find some great platforms designed specifically for cuckolds where hotwives are looking for their next playmate to help them humiliate their husbands. Here are a few sites to get you started:

Other Hookup Sites to Find a Hotwife

Of course, it’s not only swinging and cuckold sites where you can find a hotwife. There are plenty of dating platforms which are focused on casual dating and hookups where there are listings for married women looking for XXX action.

The beauty of these sites is that these women are often new to the hotwifing scene and they can throw up some little gems.

More mainstream than some of the other sites we’ve shortlisted, these are all platforms which try to match members up for casual encounters.

Again, most of these are freemium models so you can usually sign up for free or get a limited trial but to make the most of your membership you’ll need to pay to go premium:

Best Apps For Finding a Hotwife

Whilst some of the sites above have their own mobile ready apps to help you use their features on the move, there are also some dedicated apps.

We’ve shortlisted just a couple which are designed around threesomes, swingers or polyamorous lifestyles and all are pretty useful when it comes to finding a hotwife.


how to find a hotwife - polyfinda

If the hookup scene is a little too ‘sexified’ for your liking then this app might be of interest to you.

Yes, you can still use it to find a hotwife but the focus isn’t so much on just the sex but also to support polyamorous lifestyles.

Perfect for married couples who want to expand their relationship to include a more permanent third party, Polyfinda is an ethical way to support this kind of lifestyle.

Free to download for Android of iOS devices, Polyfinda is free to use but requires a premium subscription if you want to make contact with other members.


how to find a hotwife - 3hook

A pretty ordinary looking app for casual sex but one that has managed to get a pretty decent reputation for itself for hotwifing.

Yes, if you just want some casual sex or a spot of flirting then 3Hook can also sort you out but there are also a good number of swingers on the app who are fishing for a third party.

You’ll need to register a profile for yourself to check out what kind of coverage you can get in your area but reports suggest that major cities in Western Europe and North America are all well catered for.

It’s also an app which seems to have a good selection of LGBTQ+ choices too.

Free to use but with premium membership offering you a better experiences, this app is only available for Android users.

Other Apps for Finding a Hotwife

And some other apps that are worth checking out include:

how to find a hotwife - fling

Featured image via Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)/Tambako The Jaguar.


Mike Morris

Mike is a senior contributor to AdultVisor and is tasked with reviewing the latest adult products, services and trends. He previously worked in production for a famous adult game and is very familiar with the growing space of X-rated titles. Mike has contributed to several other adult blogs, including Euro Sex Scene and Fetish Engine.
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