How To Find A Hotwife Online: Kinky Hot Spots For Sex With Married Women

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If you’ve ever shared a workspace in the office then you’ll be familiar with the term ‘hotdesking’ and hotwifing is much the same thing. But instead of swapping a desk with a colleague, this practice is much more fun.

If you are hungry Bull looking to meet hotwives near you, the problem is obvious: wife-swapping is not the sort of activity you see advertised on Facebook Marketplace (at least, it’s not in my social circles!)

To enter the infamous polyamorous world of hotwifing and cuckoldry, your best bet is to seek out online communities where shagging another man’s wife is considered sexy and fun. The swinging community is the obvious place to start, but it’s not the only option. And as many lucky Bulls have already discovered, you can get lucky without having a partner to ‘trade’ — if you know where to look.

Want to meet married women who have sex with the consent of their partners? Let’s take a look at some of the kinkiest communities for hooking up with hotwives.

How To Find a Hotwife Online

How to Find a Hotwife Online

I’ll start with the good news: finding hotwives is not nearly as difficult if you’d expect, as long as you live in a reasonably developed city or town… or have the determination/patience to travel.

There are a ton of sites set up specifically for the swinging community. If you are a husband who wants to see his partner getting dirty with strangers, check out these popular cuck dating communities. Of course, these sites are equally useful to curious Bulls, so both of these lists should be helpful.

If, however, you’re more of a bull who wants to help a hotwife humiliate her husband with some live action porn scenes, then start with the sites below.

What Are The Best Sites to Find a Hotwife?

The best sites to find hotwives are those that are set up specifically for the swinging community (including lifestyle forums), or casual dating sites where the emphasis is on sex rather than romance.

Our first selection includes some of the biggest hitters for lifestyle hookups, including: Kasidie, SDC and Adult Friend Finder.

Most of these sites have freemium models, which means you can scour for suitable members and willing hotwives in your local area. You can even receive messages. The problem is: you won’t be able to reply to them until you take out a premium subscription.


SDC search for hotwives

SDC is an erotic dating platform for Swingers, Open-Minded Couples & Singles. If you spend a few hours exploring the swinging community, you’ll notice that many roads lead back to SDC. It’s one of the leading communities in the space.

Given the clientele, SDC is a major source of hookups with hotwives in North & South America, Europe and Asia.

From an American perspective, although the site covers all states and major cities like New York, Las Vegas and Los Angeles, SDC actually has a broader reach into rural areas than any other site. I was personally surprised just how much activity I found in my fairly-remote hometown.

More than just a quick dating platform, what I love about this site is the community it fosters and the extra features you can enjoy if you’re prepared to put in the graft. And trust me, guys, there’s always some level of graft if your goal is to bang another man’s wife.

SDC has chatrooms, forums and information on swinger parties plus there’s even a great travel section so you can use the site to book your next ‘lifestyle’ vacation. Obviously this is more suitable to couples than roaming Bulls, but the community is surprisingly inclusive.

SDC is a popular place for picking up information about the lifestyle and their blogs cover everything from the basics of polyamory to kinks, fetishes and more.

Of course, if it’s hotwives you are after then there are plenty of ways to find them on SDC and a quick trawl on the site reveals more than 20,000 members online (at the time of writing) — and tons of listings for women on the hunt for their next bull.

In fact, around 20% of the 3 million+ members on SDC are women and the estimated age range is:

  • 18 to 24: 15%
  • 25 to 34: 18%
  • 35 to 44: 20%
  • 45 to 54: 23%
  • 55+: 24%

That’s a decent split, and a decent ratio of women-to-men. Far better than the infamous 16:1 ratio on the next site we’re about to feature…

Adult Friend Finder

Adult Friend Finder

Without exception, Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is the largest network for casual sex. It is widely used by the swinging community, as well as bulls and cucks looking to explore a hotwife arrangement.

Ranked in the top 10 adult websites in the world and with more than 60 million monthly hits, it has an amazing international coverage. In fact, the site has more than 109 million registered members and, at any given time, you can connect with more than 60,000 of them.

But, of course, we want to know whether Adult Friend Finder is any good for finding a hotwife. The short answer is ‘Yes’. And the long answer is ‘Yes, with knobs on’.

AFF offers a feature rich and easy to use platform to help you find married women who want sex now, and tons of them are doing so with the full knowledge and approval of their husbands.

What we love about AFF is their coverage. There are few websites who can compete with the sheer volume of members so there should be no issues in finding someone local.

Also available as an app, AFF is free to use and you can usually get some success without forking out for a subscription. But, if you do want the best chance of a hookup, we recommend upgrading to a premium subscription so that you can make use of the unlimited messaging.

AFF has had some bad press over the years, and the site is getting pretty dated, but it remains one of the best places to hookup. Its reputation for fast and easy casual sex still makes it one of the best known and most used platforms and, for that reason, it’s a no-brainer to use as a hookup tool.

Of course, the fact it’s a huge platform does mean that it attracts more than its fair share of catfishes and scam artists. So, do be careful out there!


how to find a hotwife - alt

Alt is owned by the same company as Adult Friend Finder. The only difference is the member database is skewed towards users who are in to ‘alternative’ lifestyles. Well, by my estimation hotwifing qualifies, so it’s worth a look if you are getting spammed by time wasters and part-time escorts on AFF.

More often than not, the profiles on here will have an edgy vibe to them. The users are more interested in BDSM than your typical hookup.

It’s tough to describe the bull/cuck dynamic as ‘vanilla’, but if you’re looking for an arrangement that comes with added rope-play, bondage and dress-up, takes things up a notch.

As with AFF, the same advice applies: be careful of scam artists, catfishes and escorts parading as horny wives. There are hookups to be found on this site, but there’s an awful lot of crap to sift through, too.


how to find a hotwife - kasidie

Kasidie is another of the go-to platforms used by the swinging community and, just like SDC, it’s about more than just hookups here.

Another service modelled on a social networking site rather than a simple dating/matching platform, Kasidie offers its members a whole range of ways to connect. From forums and community groups to chat rooms and direct messaging, you can find plenty of hotwives who are horny for their next hookup.

My advice with Kasidie is that you’d be a fool to go steaming in with the dick pics (unless they’re requested!). You’ve got to be particularly respectful on swinging sites. It’s not that these women want to have sex with rude, disrespectful, pushy strangers. Proving yourself as ‘not a weirdo’ will go a long way to drawing responses from the clientele on the site.

Perhaps one of their best features is the local rendezvous tool which lets you find interested parties who live nearby for some casual play.

What I love about Kasidie is that it’s a great hub for useful lifestyle information that you can’t live without including:

  • Club Listings
  • Parties & Events
  • Industry Classifieds

And, again, just like SDC there’s even a whole section on travel. So if you want to meet a hotwife on holiday, they have a selection of swinger’s vacations to choose from. Get that shag-pad booked in. 😉

Kasidie is an easy site to use and has decent international coverage, but it’s definitely more popular in North America. I would typically recommend SDC over Kasidie if you are based in Europe or Asia.

Swing Lifestyle

how to find a hotwife - swing lifestyle

Covering the United States only, Swing Lifestyle is perhaps the world’s largest community of cuckolds, hotwives and their partners. With almost 7 million monthly hits to the site and 93,000 chat rooms available this site should definitely be on the radar of wannabe bulls.

Just like Kasidie and SDC, this is much more than a simple dating or matching service with the emphasis being on social networking.

As a result, you can find plenty of ways to find a hotwife including via forums, chat and groups as well as through direct messaging, random matching and searching.

The idea behind Swing Lifestyle is to network with ‘Friends’ through the site and use the platform to connect in the same way you might through Facebook.

The best way to get started is to join some groups and/or contributing to the forums. Yes, you could start searching for random members local to you but most users prefer to have networked online first.

Fab Swingers

how to find a hotwife - swing lifestyle

Fab Swingers is ranked 6th globally in the Adult category of websites (according to SImilarWeb). It might not look like the sexiest of sites, in fact I’d go as far as to say it’s butt ugly, but it’s one of the most popular.

Well, in the United Kingdom anyway.

Yes, although this site does offer some coverage in Canada, USA and Australia, it’s those swinging Brits and UK bulls that this site will appeal to most.

One of the main selling points of Fab Swingers is that it’s almost entirely free to use and there’s plenty of useful information available. This includes event and club listings as well as message boards, chat and forums.

Of course, these all make excellent ways for members to find each other and to share hookups – including hotwifing. There’s a great feature called Meet Today which is aimed at instant hookups.


Our next choice to find a hotwife online is good ‘ole Reddit.

This social networking, forum-based, news-aggregation site is the actual dog’s bollocks when it comes to finding niche groups. Once again, hotwifing is no different.

You can find plenty of swinger subreddits, some dedicated specifically to hotwifing and cuckolds. These are some of the larger ones that I’d recommend:

Our Hotwives Forum

how to find a horny wife - our hotwives

Our final selection is similar to Reddit insomuch that this is a forum rather than a hookup site.

However, unlike Reddit, Our Hotwives Forum is dedicated to the cuckolding lifestyle. Anybody who is serious enough about the lifestyle to register on a hotwife forum is going to be pretty keen on actually exploring that fantasy – just my two cents.

With over 106,000+ members covering both the USA and Europe, there’s quite a lot of sharing going on here.

And it’s not just wives.

It’s a great place for lifestyle members to network with other cuckolds, hotwives and bulls. The forum covers everything from fantasies and stories to offers and events.

It might not be the best place to actually find a hotwife but it should give you a good network of likeminded souls to help you in your search.

Hotwife Hookup Sites

So, what about those dating and hookup sites that promise to cater ONLY for hotwifing?

I took a look at some of the most popular and found a few which might be worth looking into. It’s a mixed bag here; some good, some bad.

These sites are marketed as ‘free to join’ casual dating sites where the profiles are all (reportedly) those of hotwives. From what I can tell, they are mostly white-label spin-offs from larger casual dating sites, but alas, there’s nothing wrong with a white label if it serves up actual members.

Some of these sites do have limited coverage so it does pay to spend a day or so working out how many members are in your area before you upgrade your subscription.

how to find a horny wife

We know that many dating sites simply purchase databases of other platforms, and this means that new services like this can have quite a few dead or fake profiles.

Whilst we’re not saying any of these falls into this category, we do know that there is limited reach in some areas.

If you live in one of the main US or European cities then you might find some good leads here. Just register a profile, search your area and start chatting.

how to find a hotwife - date a hotwife

Best Cuckold Sites to Find a Hotwife

You can find some great platforms designed specifically for cuckolds where hotwives are looking for their next playmate to help them humiliate their husbands. Here are a few sites to get you started:

Best Apps For Finding a Hotwife

Whilst some of the sites above have their own apps, there are also dedicated services that are useful for bulls, hotwives and cuckolds.

We’ve shortlisted just a couple which are targeted specifically at threesomes, swingers or polyamorous lifestyles.


how to find a hotwife - polyfinda

If the hookup scene is a little too ‘sexified’ for your liking then this app might be of interest to you.

Yes, you can still use it to find a hotwife but the focus isn’t so much on just the sex but also to support polyamorous lifestyles.

Perfect for married couples who want to expand their relationship to include a more permanent third party, Polyfinda is an ethical way to support this kind of lifestyle.

Free to download for Android of iOS devices, Polyfinda is free to use but requires a premium subscription if you want to make contact with other members.

Other Apps for Finding a Hotwife

And some other apps that are worth checking out include:

Use with discretion. YMMV!

Are there any good hotwife finding apps that we’ve missed? Let us know your favorites!


Paul Cassidy

Paul has been a regular contributor on AdultVisor since 2017. His work -- which he describes as his "professional dirty pleasure"! -- has been published on several adult industry blogs, including Red Light Australia, Euro Sex Scene, Asia Sex Scene. A native of the UK, Paul is currently based in Chiang Mai, Thailand.
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