Wondering how to find an orgy near me?
While there is some stigma attached to orgies and sex parties, the truth is they’ve been happening for thousands of years. In fact, orgies were part of religious ceremonies in certain regions, with participants believing their group sex fun would help bring a bountiful harvest.
The more, the merrier!
Fortunately, we don’t have to worry about stigmas anymore. Now orgies are all about fun. There’s just one problem… orgies are not the sort of events that you’ll find advertised on Facebook.
If you want to take part in an orgy, you’ll need an invitation. And if you want an invitation, you’ll need to have contacts in the right places.
In this guide, we take a look at how you can explore the orgy scene in your local city or town. We’ll look at the pivotal role of swinger clubs, sex clubs and sex-positive communities. We’ll show you the best sites to get acquainted with the group sex parties near you. And finally, we’ll run through some first-time orgy tips, as well as what you need to know before planning your own!
Horny for some group action? Step forward with an open mind… 😉
- How to Find An Orgy Near Me
- What Are The Best Sites For Finding Group Sex?
- Are There More Men Than Women At Sex Parties?
- What Is The Difference Between an Orgy and a Gangbang?
- How Many People Make An Orgy?
- Is There Such A Thing as ‘Secret’ Sex Parties?
- Is An Orgy A Good or Bad Idea?
- How to Prepare For A First Time Orgy Experience
- How To Plan Your Own Orgy
How to Find An Orgy Near Me
Group sex is easy to find on porn sites, but it’s not so easy to find in real life. Orgies are an exciting way to explore sex with multiple partners, and they have been around for thousands of years, but in 2023, our monogamous society is incentivised to keep them hidden from the public eye.
- Sex with your partner… Good.
- Sex with random groups of sex-positive strangers… Bad
Whether you subscribe to this view or not, it is the reason why orgies are seen as taboo in most social circles.
But not all social circles.
If you want to find an orgy in your local town or city, the bottom line is this: you need to have the right contacts, in the right places.
Sure, you might get insanely lucky with a wild night out; where a threesome turns in to a foursome, which turns in to a free-for-all of hedonistic fucking. But this is like catching lightning in a bottle. It doesn’t happen very often, and for most of us, it won’t happen in our entire lifetimes! So we need to plan accordingly.
Let’s take a look at the best ways to embed yourself with the local sex party scene…
Make Connections at Swinger Clubs
Swinger clubs are one of the best places to start if you’re on the hunt for an orgy.
These are social venues where people who are interested in non-monogamous sex gather, and they often host themed nights that can include orgies and group sex.
The great thing about swinger clubs is that nearly every major town or city has one. These aren’t just places for instant action, think of them more like your local bar where you get to know people who are interested in ‘The Lifestyle’.
By integrating yourself with your town’s local swinging community, it won’t be long until you hear about private events, house parties and club nights where orgies will be taking place. The caveat is that it’s very difficult to use swinger clubs unless you attend as a couple.
Singles may still be allowed entry (on certain nights), but it goes against the basic premise of these clubs: sharing is caring.
If you rock up to a swinging event as a single guy hoping to get laid, you aren’t going to have much luck without paying a much higher entry fee. Although your chances will increase exponentially if you happen to be female!
Most swinger clubs are openly advertised, but depending on where you live, there may be too many or too few options to know which is the best to attend.
The main resource we recommend for accessing the swinging community is SDC. This site has thousands of like-minded users who can help to integrate you with the local group sex events in your town. With a little digging, it’s easy for couples to find orgies and private sex parties. The next best option is Adult Friend Finder, although it is not targeted exclusively at swingers.
Find Sex Clubs In Your Area
Sex clubs are similar to swinger clubs, but there is less focus on partner sharing, wife-swapping and group sex between couples who share ‘the lifestyle’.
If you live in a major city — especially in Australia, New Zealand, or continental Europe — there’s a very good chance that you’ll find a sex club near you. One of the major differences between a swinger club and a sex club is that, in these major cities, sex clubs will attract a large number of sex workers and freelance escorts, too.
It’s important to understand the difference between a publicly advertised sex club with facilities that cater to sexual adventures (like the mega FKK clubs in Germany), and local sex clubs that refrain from actually marketing themselves as ‘sex clubs’.
In America, sex clubs tend to be marketed under more ambiguous terms. For example, Beverly Hills based Snctm is considered the world’s most exclusive sex club, but it’s marketed as a ‘private member club’.
The good news is that — if you can gain entry — sex clubs are a sure bet for finding local orgies. The bad news is that an Average Joe can’t just walk into a sex club off of the street and start having sex with people. Clubs like Snctm have eye-watering annual fees (starting at $12,500 per year for men!).
(Thankfully, most sex clubs are much more reasonably priced.)
Once you’ve found a private club in your area, contact the owners and ask about their dress code, cover charge, and policies. Some clubs won’t let single guys in, for instance, while ladies may get in for free.
It should come as no surprise that sex clubs are a lot cheaper for women. 😀
The rules vary from club to club, so don’t expect protocol at one club to be the same at another club. Understanding these nuances, on a local level, is the reason why we highly recommend SDC as a resource for finding group sex. You can connect to people who are already familiar with the local clubs in your area.
Once you’ve found your way in, the next orgy is never too far away.
Find Local Private Sex Parties
Beyond public venues like sex and swinger clubs, many orgies take place in more private, intimate settings. These private sex parties can range from gatherings at a local residence, hotel suites, or rented venues specifically for the event.
Your best chance of getting invited to a private sex party is to make yourself known in the wider community that the host is drawing his/her guest list from.
A classic example would be a ‘getaway vacation’ organised by one of the regulars at your local swinger club. This might involve a group of multiple couples or single hedonists heading to a beach destination and renting a large villa or a kinky hotel. Everybody contributes their share of the accommodation and agrees to make the trip over a pre-arranged weekend. Once the attendees have gathered, the orgy fun begins.
Sexy getaways are commonplace in the swinging community, as well as other sex-positive networks. The way to get invited is to ingratiate yourself using the existing events in the sex clubs and swinger clubs near you. Make an effort to get to know the attendees on a deeper level.
We’ll give you a clue here. Nobody gets invited to a private orgy just because they’re good in bed. It’s all about the mindset and the shared values. Private sex parties require a much greater deal of trust, especially if you’re stepping in to somebody’s home.
Remember, being invited to a private sex party is a privilege, and discretion is often highly valued. Always respect the rules of the host, and never share details of the event without permission.
Local Sex-Positive Meetups
There are many other sex-positive communities that embrace consensual non-monogamy. These communities often have local meetups or workshops where you can meet like-minded individuals in your area.
Some of these communities exist on social media platforms, while others use sites like Meetup.com to coordinate events. Once again, the community boards on SDC are a great way to find casual meet-ups in your local area. At these events you can meet the right people to point you in the direction of your town’s hottest sex parties.
If you live in a major city, Meetup.com is a great way to explore alternative lifestyles, and the various events associated to them.
As you can see below, ‘Naughty Los Angeles’ has 10,793 local member.! It doesn’t take long using these public boards to find meetups that are highly likely to lead to group sex, even if they aren’t marketed as such.
In many cities, there are also ‘polyamory meetups’ and ‘kink meetups’, both of which are quite open to the concept of group sex and orgies.
To get started, try searching online for terms like “sex-positive meetup” followed by the name of your city. This should give you a list of relevant groups in your area.
Tantra Parties
While tantra parties are not exactly the same as orgies, they share a common theme: exploration of sexuality in a group setting. And they can certainly escalate in to orgies if you choose the right event…
Tantra is all about the spiritual and emotional aspects of sex as much as the physical ones. In these parties, you’ll take part in intimate exercises like synchronized breathing, touch, and meditation, which can sometimes lead to erotic play and full sex. Sounds a bit like the swinging sixties, doesn’t it? 😉
It’s important to keep in mind that not all tantra parties lead to orgies or group sex. And the ones where this does happen are not going to advertise it publicly.
However, if you’re looking to explore your sexuality in a safe environment, a tantra play party is not as intimidating as a public orgy, and therefore it’s a good place to start. You can find events through local portals like The Tantra Institute (see below).
Can You Pay For An Orgy?
Yes.
If you have enough money, you can definitely pay for an orgy. And there are a number of ways of doing so; some less ‘guaranteed’ than others.
The most obvious example is to pay sex-workers. You know exactly what you’re getting when you hire sex workers to host an orgy for you.
Not only are you guaranteed a show, but it’s probably going to be a pretty good one, too. Sex workers are professionals. They know every trick of the trade to keep you coming back for more. The downside to having an orgy full of sex workers is that you’ll need to have rather deep pockets to afford it.
How much an orgy costs will depend on the number of escorts you hire, the duration of the ‘party’, and any horny ‘extras’ you agree to. Oh… plus tipping.
We’re not going to deep dive in to escort rates on these pages, but you’re probably looking at well over $1000 as a starting point. And that’s a very low starting point, for a very quick orgy.
There are other ways to pay for orgies, with less guarantee of success. The most obvious way is to pay for access to an exclusive sex club, or for a private sex party.
Take the UK Killing Kittens events, for example:
As you can see, paying for access to a private event like a KK Party is much cheaper for women (or in this case, “kittens”). Women pay £45, compared to £115 for men.
The important thing to remember when buying access to a ticketed sex event is that you are only actually paying for the cover entry. A ticket is by no means a guarantee that you’ll take part in an orgy. It simply puts you in the right place, at the right time. The rest is up to you.
Keep in mind that the higher up the exclusivity chain you go, the higher the likelihood that your ticket will result in a guaranteed orgy. The members paying $12,500 per year (!) for access to Snctm’s private members club are probably not going to have too much trouble stamping their ticket. If you know what we mean.
Ultimately, money talks.
You can’t “buy” an orgy. But you can buy the circumstances that will pretty much guarantee one.
What Are The Best Sites For Finding Group Sex?
We hope you now understand the importance of having contacts in the right places if you want to find orgies, group sex and private parties. But what are the best sites for striking up those contacts? Where can you find people to connect you to your local orgy scene?
Below we take a look at the best options for expanding those kinky horizons…
Here are the top-rated sites for finding group sex:
SDC
SDC is our favorite local orgy finding tool. If you are a swinger, you don’t want to miss out on this gigantic database; it acts as a gateway to the entire swinging community. But it’s not just swinging events that can be found on SDC. The site is a hub for gangbangs, orgies, dirty club nights, pool parties and even bukkake sessions.
If your kinky little mind can think it, you can probably find it on SDC.
Once registered, you can browse sex parties in over 30 countries, and that’s just the events that are listed publicly. There’s a huge user base to engage with, either through direct messaging or in community-style boards. There were 32,099 members online at the time of our last visit (in July 2023).
SDC uses a location-based search engine, so it’s really as simple as submitting your location (or travel destination), and browsing the events and members in your area. The nearest group sex may be a lot closer to home than you imagined, which is really one of the most eye-opening things about using SDC.
Adult Friend Finder
Ah, Adult Friend Finder, or as the vets of online hookups call it, AFF.
It’s like the godfather of casual hookup sites. But why’s it a solid bet for finding orgies?
The strength of Adult Friend Finder is in the numbers game. The site boasts millions of users from all over the world, and unlike dating apps like Tinder or Match, the users on this site are looking exclusively for a good time. With members located in just about every corner of the globe, you can tap in to all kinds of kinky networks, whether you’re looking for straight, gay, lesbian, or BDSM orgies.
AFF has dedicated groups and communities which are ideal for spotting group sex opportunities. Once you’ve set up your profile, you can build a shortlist of local communities and scour for fellow orgy-lovers. It’s no coincidence that they are usually some of the most vocal users on the site!
The downside of AFF is the obvious bots and spam profiles — the site is in dire need of a clear-out. Come on guys, somebody needs to drop the hammer on the thousands of abandoned profiles, the annoying bots, and thinly-veiled escort agencies.
The good news is that if you can navigate through the spammy waters, no other site can touch AFF for its sheer scale of hookup opportunities.
Kasidie
Kasidie is another good option for finding local orgies in your city or town.
The site is targeted at “swingers, uninhibited sexually adventurous couples, singles and groups“. So, in other words… just about everyone. Kasidie is geared towards the swinger community, which means group sex, including orgies, is the name of the game for a good portion of its users.
Kasidie is often compared to SDC, and both sites do a great job of connecting swingers and kinks to their local communities. Kasidie tends to attract a slightly younger crowd than SDC, but it can vary by city or state. Kasidie places a heavy emphasis on community. It’s not just about finding a hookup; it’s about connecting with like-minded people. That sense of community can be especially important when you’re looking to participate in something as intimate and trust-based as an orgy.
To use the site, simply sign up and create a profile with some pictures and descriptions to tempt other members. Members will drop by and ‘like’ your profile with a flirting response. Or you can start the search yourself: just browse through local listings using your town or city as a search filter.
Just like SDC, Kasidie has an enormous dedicated section for swinger events, parties, and even sexy weekend breaks. If there’s an orgy happening near you, there’s a good chance it’s listed here.
FetLife
FetLife is like the rebellious younger brother of adult hookup sites. It’s dark, it’s kinky, and it’s certainly not for everyone. But if you’re into the fetish scene, this little playground is home to some seriously dirty orgies.
Unlike more mainstream adult dating sites, FetLife is unmistakably kink-friendly. It focuses specifically on the fetish and BDSM community. If your interest in orgies overlaps with a love for kink, FetLife could be a goldmine for you.
The site has 10,379,026 members as of July 2023. We found 18,781 local events listed, including bondage themed play parties, glory hole parties, gangbangs, orgies, ‘local munches’, and kinky workshops.
FetLife users regularly create groups based on their interests. You can swoop through and find groups dedicated to orgies or group sex. Join the discussion and it won’t be long until a stream of meet-ups and private events are on your radar.
Meetup
https://www.meetup.com/topics/celebrate-sensuality/
Meetup.com, you say? You might be thinking, “Hey, isn’t that where I find local book clubs and hiking groups?” Well, yes, but it’s also a surprisingly good place to find sex-positive and swinger groups in your local area.
There’s a Meetup group for just about everything, and that includes sex-positive workshops, swinger club nights, and even groups specifically focused on orgies.
Our favorite section of the site for orgy-hunting is the Sensuality Meetups category. This is home to 482 private groups, with most based in North America.
Meetup.com is nowhere near as explicit as SDC, AFF or Kasidie, but this helps to widen its appeal to a user base that wouldn’t be found on those sites. It’s certainly worth a look if you are based near a major city.
Are There More Men Than Women At Sex Parties?
Sex parties are as diverse as the kinks who attend them, and the gender ratio can vary widely from one event to the next. You’ll normally find that orgies organized by established sex clubs or swinger communities strive to maintain a balanced gender ratio.
They do this in one of two ways:
- By keeping a close control over the guest list and limiting attendees
- By setting tiered-pricing to incentivise entry from one gender over the other
It’s common to find sex parties where women are allowed in for free, but men have to pay high entry fees. It’s the men that ‘fund’ the event, but it’s the women that make it a success!
If you are attending a swingers event, you can expect a more even distribution of men and women — but free admission is rarer.
That being said, at certain types of events like cuckolding parties or gangbangs, you might find a higher number of men compared to women by design. Similarly, if you are attending a lesbian orgy or a gay orgy, there is less incentive to balance the gender ratios, so everybody will pay the same rate.
Despite this, it’s not uncommon for orgies to have more men than women, especially if the event allows single men to attend. Some men will go to extreme lengths to get access to sex parties, going as far as to hire an escort to act as their ‘partner’ or plus one.
What Is The Difference Between an Orgy and a Gangbang?
There are many different types of group sex, and it’s important to understand the difference between an orgy and a gangbang. These events are very different!
An orgy is like a buffet of hedonistic sex. It involves at least four participants, and everyone can interact with anyone they fancy. There’s often an even mix of men and women, and the focus is all about sharing and enjoying the pleasure together.
A gangbang is focused on one individual getting down and dirty with multiple partners. It could be one at a time, or all at the same time. Here, the balance is tipped – it’s all about the central player’s pleasure.
Needless to say, if you’re searching for a first time orgy, you don’t want to get it confused with a first time gangbang. In terms of giving pleasure, you’ll have to do a lot of waiting, watching and sharing. And in terms of receiving pleasure… well, let’s just say there’s such a thing as too much attention.
How Many People Make An Orgy?
The minimum number of participants for group sex to be considered an orgy is four. Although many experienced orgy-goers would shake their head at this and call it a foursome.
Sex between three people is a threesome, not an orgy.
Is There Such A Thing as ‘Secret’ Sex Parties?
Yes!
When we talk about ‘secret’ sex parties, we’re referring to the kind of private, by-invitation-only affairs that are kept well under the radar. Think Eyes Wide Shut, but less creepy (and hopefully with less blowback!). These parties are usually thrown by close-knit communities or circles of friends who value discretion and privacy above all else.
The only way to get an invitation to a ‘secret’ sex party is to integrate yourself with the local communities that are likely to throw one. Most secret sex parties are ‘secret’ only by virtue of the fact that the organisers are smart enough to keep them quiet and away from prying eyes.
Beyond the scope of these private affairs, we’ve seen many readers speculating about Illuminati sex parties and closely guarded secret gatherings where group sex takes place. In fact, it’s often joked that the only event more exclusive than a sex party is an Illuminati sex party.
We’ll leave this to the conspiracy theorists, but feel free to get in touch if you’ve been to one. 😀
Is An Orgy A Good or Bad Idea?
It’s important to understand that orgies aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s perfectly fine. Whether they’re too shy to give group sex a shot or they simply prefer monogamy, there’s never a good reason to yuck someone’s yum.
So, how can you be sure that an orgy is a good fit for you?
It can be difficult. You’ll want to ask yourself a few important questions.
Am I The Jealous Type?
There’s a substantial overlap between swingers and orgy participants. Often, people bring their significant other to get in on the fun. A couple may already have interest in the ‘hotwife’ lifestyle, and an orgy is a red-hot way to explore this fantasy. Others may simply be interested in a threesome or a foursome.
But it’s understandable that an orgy isn’t right for every couple. Before agreeing to group sex, make sure that you’re okay with your partner engaging in play with others and vice versa. A group sex party is not the best setting to suddenly realise that you or your partner prefer the fantasy to the reality of polygamous sex.
Talk things over with your partner. Make sure that this is something you both want to do before agreeing to go any further.
Crucially, it’s important to have a way of backing down if either of you feel uncomfortable at the event. One partner should never feel pressured to continue just because his/her partner is having a great time.
Why Safety and Trust Is Essential
Orgies aren’t only about sex, but trust. Everyone going into the event needs to trust, value, and respect one another for the event to be a success.
Many orgies take place within the circles of close-knit sex-positive communities. As you’ve probably realised by now, these circles are closely guarded and it’s not as simple as turning up at the door if you want to get involved. This is by design.
When it comes to safety, it goes beyond just the physical aspect. There are emotional and psychological safety factors to consider too. A safe space is one where everyone feels free to express their desires, fears, and boundaries without fear of judgment, violation, or harm.
Spontaneous orgies with groups of strangers might feel ‘sexy’ in the moment, but you are much more likely to regret these encounters if they are poorly planned and driven by excess boozing.
The importance of using protection and regularly getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases cannot be overstated. Nothing spoils the party like a neglect for STIs and STDs.
Orgies With Friends
You might not think of your existing friend circle as the most likely way to experience an orgy, but if you read through ‘first time orgy’ experiences, you’ll notice a common theme:
- “I was introduced to the group by my friend…“
- “A friend invited my partner and I to…“
- “My friend and I were drinking and we started talking about…“
You already know and trust your friends, which provides some much needed security when venturing into the unknown world of orgies. We might associate group sex parties with hedonistic strangers, but in reality, most orgy participants know at least 1 or 2 ‘friends’ at the party.
Is it a good idea to have an orgy with friends?
Our best advice is to choose your friends very wisely in this situation. The mixing of friendship and sexual activities can lead to complex emotional situations. Unresolved feelings, jealousy, or misunderstandings can arise.
Combining booze with friends who aren’t in to ‘the lifestyle’ is too often a recipe for a regret, which leads us to…
Do People Regret Sex Parties?
Sometimes, yes.
By far the most common source of regret is for couples where one partner is not as fully invested as the other. Feelings of jealousy and guilt are not uncommon. You might not be the ‘jealous type’, and your partner might not be either… but there’s nothing like an orgy to put this theory to the test.
Another negative emotion to deal with is shame. Our monogamous society is not exactly geared towards fucking around with multiple strangers in sex parties. If you know that it’s something you want to explore, this is a good starting point. But if the idea feels tempting because you’re horny and drunk, it may well end up being something you regret.
Spot the recurring theme here? Booze.
Some lifestyles are best explored through careful choice. Not through inhibition-lowering intoxication.
An orgy falls 100% in the ‘careful choice’ category.
How to Prepare For A First Time Orgy Experience
Want to know what to expect from your first time orgy experience?
Stepping into a group sex situation can feel overwhelming for first-timers, but the key to a positive experience lies in knowing what to expect. You don’t want any unpleasant surprises.
From understanding the dynamics of an orgy to setting personal boundaries, this section will guide you through the essential steps before you dive into your first orgy experience.
Read Other First Time Orgy Experiences
Honestly, nothing shines a light on the good, bad and ugly of orgy sex quite like reading other first time experiences. This is the best thing you can do to prepare yourself for the sexual adventure that awaits.
By reading other first time experiences, you will get a feel for the emotional ride. The nerves, the mental roadblocks, the sizzling excitement, the possible regrets.
We recommend trawling through Reddit and Quora for some fascinating accounts:
- How was your first orgy experience? [Quora]
- What was your orgy experience like? [Reddit]
Community boards on sites like SDC and Kasidie are another great resource.
Familiarise yourself with both the success stories and the epic failures. You’ll quickly get a sense for whether your interest in orgies is best kept as a fantasy, or experienced in real life.
Understand It’s Not All About The Sex
If sex defined the success of an orgy, they’d all be roaring smash hits.
But the reality is, sex is just one facet of the experience. Successful orgies are equally about building connections, fostering an environment of mutual respect, and yes — having fun.
Some people look at the term Sex-Positive Community and think, “Great, it’s been a while since I had sex…“
Bad idea!
You won’t receive any further invitations to private orgies if you turn up, blow your load, then grab your coat.
You’ve got to contribute to the community if you want to be considered a part of it. Does that mean you have to ‘work the room’ and introduce yourself to everybody within 5 minutes of arriving? Obviously, not.
But be mindful of the fact that sex is a secondary factor to a successful orgy. For most participants, it’s all about the social connection and the positivity of the experience.
Do Orgies Have A Dress Code?
Yes, many orgies do have a dress code.
It’s all part of the thrill, which for many participants starts with getting ready for the event.
Sex party dress code can vary significantly depending on the event, the host, or the venue. Some orgies might be themed, in which case, you’ll have some pretty clear parameters to plan your outfit. Common themes can be anything from “lingerie” to “Eyes Wide Shut” masquerade balls.
In other cases, sex parties might simply require you to dress smartly, casually, or provocatively. Remember, first impressions matter, and the way you dress can impact people’s perception of you.
Just remember: dress code or no dress code, there’s no excuse to turn up dirty and unwashed. Poor hygiene at an orgy is extremely bad form.
Rules, Safe Words and How To Behave At An Orgy
Like any sexual encounter, communication and consent are key during an orgy. That’s why there are a number of rules and guidelines that most orgy-goers abide by to ensure a positive experience.
It’s also why ‘unplanned orgies’ are much more likely to result in guilt, regret or shame.
Here are some basic rules for good orgy etiquette:
- Respect Boundaries: The number one rule of any orgy is to respect the boundaries of others. This means you should never touch, grope, or engage with somebody without their consent and permission. “But it’s a sex party!” … doesn’t matter.
- Use Safe Words: A “safe word” is a word or phrase that you can use to immediately stop any activity that you’re uncomfortable with. Safe words are commonly associated with the BDSM community where role-play and power-control scenarios are acted out. Using the safe word triggers an immediate halt. Safe words are less common at orgies, but still important, particularly as a way for partners to communicate around strangers.
- Know Your Limits: Before attending an orgy, think about what you’re comfortable with and what your boundaries are. Be clear with yourself and others about what you’re willing to try and what is off-limits. If you are attending as a couple, your limits will also extend to what you are comfortable with your partner doing, too.
- Protection, Protection, Protection: Condoms and other forms of protection should be used to prevent the spread of STIs. Many orgies will have condoms available, but it’s always a good idea to bring your own.
- Clean Up After Yourself: Good hygiene is crucial. Have you ever actually smelled an orgy? This is one fantasy that definitely smells better on Pornhub. Cleaning up after yourself can help to mitigate some of the, err… aroma of group sex.
- Don’t Be a Bystander: If you see something that you think is not consensual or if someone appears uncomfortable, speak up.
- Be Discreet: What happens at the orgy, stays at the orgy. Use your common sense and be discreet.
It’s Always Okay To Say No
Rules aren’t just for guests, and this rule is so important that it deserves extra recognition.
It’s absolutely fine to say no to something you’re uncomfortable with.
You’re likely expanding your boundaries already by participating in an orgy. If a guest pressures you, show them the door.
If you are attending an orgy for the first time as a couple, discuss your expectations and comfort levels before you arrive. But be flexible. It doesn’t matter what you agreed to, or what one partner wants in the heat of the moment. It’s always okay to say no.
How To Plan Your Own Orgy
“I can’t find any orgies near me. How can I host my own?”
If you live in one of the few areas not covered by existing sex-positive communities like SDC or Kasidie, you might decide to take matters in to your own hands: and plan your own orgy.
This is not something we’d recommend to the uninitiated. In order to host a successful orgy, you should ideally have attended a few successful events in the past.
Here are some tips for planning your first sex party:
Start With Smaller Groups
Have you ever had a threesome? A foursome?
These are both useful starting points for understanding the dynamics of group sex. It’s hard for us to imagine a situation where you’d want to go from never having had a threesome, to hosting an orgy with multiple sex partners. But it goes without saying: smaller groups are easier to host.
Another benefit of starting with a smaller group is you can grow the community organically, especially if you choose partners that you know and trust. This is how many sex-positive communities are born. Not through social networks, but through good old fashioned word of mouth.
Bring In Somebody With Orgy Experience
The blind leading the blind is a bad recipe for a successful orgy.
If you want to host a successful orgy, you really need to participate in one beforehand — to know just what in the hell you’re doing. Even then, these encounters aren’t prone to following a particular ‘rulebook’, so you need to expect the unexpected. Experienced guests will help.
Ideally at least 2 or 3 of your guests should have orgy experience. At organised sex parties, the ratio of experience orgy-goers is typically very high. Well above 50%.
Putting a bunch of first-timers in a room and firing the starting gun on a wild orgy is a pretty good way of ensuring morning-after regret. Bring in the vets to show the ropes. 😉
Keep The Gender Ratios Balanced
Another reason why orgy ‘guest lists’ are so meticulously managed is to ensure a good ratio of participants between men and women. For obvious reasons, too many of either can cause problems.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to have an equal number of men and women. Depending on the preferences of your guests, you might want more of one gender or the other.
Set The Mood For A Good Time
Setting the mood for a good time at an orgy can help to get the party started — and keep it going long in to the night.
The location should ideally be spacious and clean, with different areas where guests can mingle, play, or simply take a breather. Lighting can greatly affect the mood, so consider using soft lighting like candles or fairy lights. Bedrooms should be equipped with fresh sheets and towels.
Having adult movies play in the background can help set a sensual tone. This can act as a natural visual stimulant. It also says, “Hey, in case you missed the memo: you’ve arrived at an orgy!”
Just remember to keep the volume low so it doesn’t disrupt conversations. And try to choose adult movies that offer something for every guest, not just the latest Brazzers porn. Erotic beats hardcore.
Sex games are a good way to break the ice and get things started. Games like Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare, or Strip Poker can be erotic and fun, although some guests may prefer to watch than take part. That’s fine too.
If you have access to a hot tub or pool, these are the perfect ‘accessories’ to an orgy. Base the party around them and guests can get frisky or unwind as the mood suits.
The Benefits of a Sex-Free Space
A sex-free space at an orgy may sound ridiculous. But after some fun, it’s nice to kick back and take a breath or two.
A sex-free space provides a break from the intensity of the physical activity. It’s also a safe haven if you start to feel overwhelmed, tired or sexed-out. This area maintains balance, underlining the fact that while sex is important at an orgy, it’s not everything.
You have to remember: the party is going to end at different times for each of your guests. For some, the first ‘climax’ could arrive in the first 30 minutes, and a room full of wild group sex is no longer as appealing.
That’s fine!
Create space where guests can chat, rest, and recharge before joining in on the fun again.
Keep The Party Hydrated
Sex is a workout and a good one at that. Make sure guests have plenty of nourishment for their activities. In your sex-free space, include water and small snacks for guests who need a little pick-me-up.
Women, in particular, lose a lot of fluid during sex, so make it easy to replenish any lost water.
Orgy Party 101: Keep It Clean
Needless to say, orgies can get messy. So when it comes time to end the fun, recruit a few guests to help clean up. Make sure to wash your hands regularly and tie up any used condoms before tossing them in the trash (ideally immediately after use!)
It’s not just about the aftermath, but also about maintaining a clean and hygienic environment throughout the event. Provide easy access to bathrooms for quick freshening up, supply wipes, and even offer fresh towels if it suits your set up.
Just as you’d want any guests at your orgy to appear clean and washed, the same applies to the location itself!
Air freshener or scented candles are a big plus. Orgies involve a lot of sweat and bodily fluids. You might not think much about the ‘smell’ before the event, but trust us, the aroma of sex can be overpowering after an hour of group fucking. Plan ahead to keep things fresh!
That wraps up our coverage of the best ways to find a local orgy near you (or start your own!). Are there any vital tips we’ve missed? Or resources that you’ve used to find private sex parties?
Let us know your recommendations — we’ll consider them for our list.
Thanks for reading, and enjoy the party! 😉
