I once tripped into the wildest orgy of my life — no planning, no effort, just dumb luck. A booze-soaked night on a notorious Southeast Asian island turned into a blur I’ll never forget.
Most of you hedonists chasing group sex won’t get that kind of freebie. You want in? You’re either doing the legwork or praying for a miracle. Pick one!
Orgies aren’t these mythical unicorn parties that only happen to A-list celebs. Trust me, they’re accessible and happening closer than you think.
But most of you will screw it up before you even start. Here’s how to not be that guy (or gal). 😉
How Many People Participate in Orgies and Group Sex?
If you think orgies and group sex are rare, think again.
Studies show that consensual non-monogamy, which includes swinging, threesomes, and orgies, is far more common than most of our readers would assume.
Recent research estimates that 3–7% of adults are currently in some form of consensual non-monogamous relationship, while up to 25% have gone “non-monogamy” at some point in their lives.
A 2023 study found that 19% of Americans have taken part in a threesome, making it one of the most common fantasies people actually act on.
Interest in group sex has also surged online (especially since Covid).
“Threesome” was the most searched-for fetish in 2024, with over 3 million monthly searches in the US alone. Younger generations are more open to alternative relationship styles. One poll found that 34% of Americans under 45 prefer something other than strict monogamy.
Oh, to be young again…
How Can I Find A Local Orgy?
Group sex is easy to find on porn sites, but it’s not so easy to find in real life. Our monogamous society is incentivised to keep them hidden from the public eye.
- Sex with your partner… Good.
- Sex with random groups of sex-positive strangers… Bad
Monogamy’s the default, and society’s wired to bury anything that doesn’t fit — orgies, gangbangs and bukkake parties included.
Call it taboo, or call it bullshit. Either way, you won’t spot flyers for the local fuck-fest on Main Street.
But the underground doesn’t care about your zip code. Orgies happen everywhere. Finding one means knowing the right people, or getting stupidly lucky. I’ve seen a threesome spiral into a full-on free-for-all once, a chaotic night of pure hedonism.
Here’s how to stop chasing unicorns and start infiltrating your local sex party scene.
Make Connections at Swinger Clubs
Swinger clubs are your fastest track to an orgy.
They come with a stigma, but once you break past that, there’s no turning back. These are the spots where non-monogamous players meet, and plenty host nights that end in group sex.
70% of major cities have at least one swinger club, per SDC’s 2024 stats. Think less “instant orgy” and more “your bar for freaks who share.” Get in tight with the locals, and you’ll catch wind of private house parties or club nights where the real action kicks off.
Obviously, the catch is… solo guys get the short end of the deal.
Most clubs are built on couples swapping since sharing is the name of the game, right?
Show up stag, and you’re either paying a steep cover or stuck watching. Single women? You’re golden — doors swing wide for you!
Finding the right club doesn’t have to be a guessing game.
If I had to recommend a single site, SDC is your best shot — it has thousands of active users (and a database of millions), geo-filters, and vetted listings.
Dig in, and you’ll unearth local orgies or invites to private bangs. Kasidie works too, but only if you’re in North America — outside that, it’s a ghost town.
Adult Friend Finder is also a popular option but a PITA to use unless you love sifting through escort spam and bot DMs. I don’t, so I tend to avoid it.
Swinger clubs aren’t exactly difficult to find.
Most slap their names on neon signs or splashy websites, screaming for attention. How easy they are to find will depend on where you live.
In sprawls like LA or Miami, you’re drowning in choices, with dozens of spots from upscale lofts to gritty warehouses, each with its crowd of hedonists and hangers-on.
Smaller towns like Boise or Tulsa? Christ, you might be lucky to sniff out one half-decent option, and even then, fall out with the organiser (or ruffle the wrong feathers), and you could be completely screwed.
Find Sex Clubs In Your Area
Similar to swinger clubs, but not to be mistaken for them.
Think less “wife-swapping lifestyle” arrangements and more open-season hedonism. Group sex happens in sex clubs, but it’s not the couples-only tango you get at swinger joints.
If you’re in a big city, odds are high that one is lurking nearby. In these hubs, sex clubs double as magnets for professionals: sex workers and freelance escorts mix with the crowd. Single guys like me can end up drained in more ways than one, wallet included!
Stay sharp, or you’re the mark.
Also, it’s important to understand the difference between a publicly advertised sex club with facilities that cater to sexual adventures (like the mega FKK clubs in Germany) and local sex clubs that refrain from actually marketing themselves as ‘sex clubs’.
Many play coy.
In the U.S., they hide behind vague labels—Snctm in Beverly Hills bills itself as a “private members’ club,” not a sex den, despite its rep as the world’s most exclusive orgy spot. Why state the obvious, I guess?
The marketing’s slick, but the game’s the same.
These private clubs have notoriously lofty standards.
An Average Joe strolling in off the street gets laughed out. Snctm’s annual fee starts at $12,500 for men, and that’s before the black-tie dress code and vetting process. Most clubs aren’t that insane. Cover charges hover between $50-$200, depending on the night—but don’t expect a free-for-all.
Policies vary wildly: some ban solo dudes outright, others let ladies glide in gratis. Women always pay less—based on supply and demand, not chivalry.
Rules aren’t universal. One club’s “no phones, masks optional” is another’s “couples only, BYOB.” Assuming they’re all the same is how you end up on the curb. That’s why SDC is your shortcut for connecting with locals who’ve already mapped the scene.
See more: our guide to America’s most famous BDSM clubs.
Find Local Private Sex Parties
Orgies don’t just happen under club lights. Some of the wildest unfold behind closed doors.
Private sex parties range from house basements decked out for debauchery to swank hotel suites or rented lofts booked for one purpose. These aren’t open to the public, and that’s the point, intimacy and control trump the chaos of a club free-for-all.
Take the “swinger getaway”— a staple move.
A regular from your local scene rents a villa in Bali or a kink-friendly hotel in Vegas. Eight couples, a few solo players, all chipping in for the spot. Dates locked in, bags packed, and once everyone’s there, it’s game on: poolside banging, late-night pileups, no neighbors to complain.
These trips aren’t rare; they’re routine for the initiated.
How do you score an invite? Work the room at your nearest club night. Chat up the crowd, but don’t be a sleaze— trust, not charm, opens doors.
Private gigs demand more than a pretty face or a good lay. Hosts want players who get it: discretion, boundaries, and a vibe that clicks. You’re stepping into their turf, sometimes their damn living room, so proving you’re not a liability is non-negotiable.
X posts can tip you off.
Search #swingertravel or #privateparty with your city tagged. SDC’s event boards list getaways too; filter for “members only” and ping the organizers. Kasidie’s hit-or-miss outside the U.S., but its North American listings occasionally drop gold.
Point is, the deeper you’re plugged in, the faster the invites roll. Sit on the sidelines, and you’re stuck there.
Local Sex-Positive Meetups
Sex-positive scenes (think: polyamory, kink, consensual non-monogamy) aren’t just online echo chambers for the sexually unhinged. These communities have got boots on the ground, running meetups and workshops where the curious and the committed collide.
Some groups broadcast on X or Facebook, dropping event pins with hashtags like #sexpositive or #kinklife. Others lean on Meetup.com’s “sensuality” section; low-key but loaded with potential. SDC’s community boards cut through the noise; filter by zip code, and you’ll spot casual hangs that lead to hotter nights.
The goal’s simple: meet the connectors who’ll point you to your city’s dirtiest secrets.
Big cities make it easier.
LA’s “Naughty Los Angeles” Meetup boasts 10,793 members; raw numbers that scream opportunity.
These aren’t billed as fuck-fests, but dig into the event chatter—cocktail nights, “sensual discussions”—and the subtext is clear: group sex is on the horizon if you play it right. Poly meetups and kink circles work the same angle. Less “coming soon” hype, more “know the room, get the invite.”
Start basic: Google “sex-positive meetup [your city]” or hit X with the same terms—add a hashtag and scroll. Results will vary—Portland’s crawling with options, Omaha’s a drier well—but you’ll unearth groups fast.
Join, show up, and work the edges. These aren’t speed-dating gigs; they’re vetting grounds. Prove you’re not a creep, and the doors crack open (with enough good banter).
Tantra Parties
Tantra parties aren’t orgies by default, but they flirt with the same fire. Group settings where sexual boundaries get tested. Pick the right one, and they’ll tip into full-on erotic chaos.
These events blend the spiritual with the pleasurable: synchronized breathing, guided touch, and meditation that slides into foreplay. Some stop at “intimate connection”; others end in tangled bodies. It’s not a guaranteed bang, but the potential’s there.
Don’t assume every tantra gig’s a green light.
I’ve rolled into one expecting heat—only to sit through a dry-as-hell workshop led by a polite grandma who’d never heard of lube. An hour of mindfulness later, the mood was dead. Lesson: vet your event.
The tame ones stay chaste; the real ones don’t.
They’re less daunting than a public orgy, though. Think of it as a warmup for the uninitiated. You’ll find listings through hubs like The Tantra Institute (see below) or X searches—tag “tantra party” with your city and sift the chatter. Or just by scouring Facebook groups in your area.
Can You Pay For An Orgy?
Of course!
If you’ve got enough money, you could spend the rest of your life trapped inside one.
There are several ways of doing so, some less ‘guaranteed’ than others.
The most straightforward way is hiring sex workers. This guarantees a well-organized experience with professionals who can put on a show. The downside? It’s expensive. Costs depend on the number of escorts, duration, and any extras. Expect to spend at least $1,000, likely much more.
Oh… plus tipping.
There are other ways to pay for orgies, with less guarantee of success. The most obvious way is to pay for access to an exclusive sex club or for a private sex party.
Take the UK Killing Kittens events, for example:
Paying for access to a private event like a KK Party is much cheaper for women (or, in this case, “kittens”). Women pay £45, compared to £115 for men.
The important thing to remember when buying access to a ticketed sex event is that you are only actually paying for the cover entry. A ticket is by no means a guarantee that you’ll take part in an orgy. It simply puts you in the right place, at the right time. The rest is up to you.
The higher up the exclusivity chain you go, the higher the likelihood that your ticket will result in a guaranteed orgy. The members paying $12,500 per year (!) for access to Snctm’s private members club are probably not going to have too much trouble stamping their ticket.
If you know what I mean.
What Are The Best Sites For Finding Group Sex?
To find orgies, group sex, and private parties, connections matter. But where do you make those connections? Which sites can link you to your local scene?
Here are the best platforms for expanding your kinky horizons:
SDC
No surprises here, I’ve mentioned it a few times already and it’s my #1 top pick.
If you are a swinger, you don’t want to miss out on this gigantic database; it acts as a gateway to the entire swinging community. But it’s not just swinging events that can be found on SDC. The site is a hub for gangbangs, orgies, dirty club nights, pool parties and even bukkake sessions.
If your kinky little mind can think it, you can probably find it on SDC.
Once registered, you can browse sex parties in over 30 countries, and that’s just the events that are listed publicly. There’s a huge user base to engage with, either through direct messaging or in community-style boards. There were 32,099 members online when I last visited.
SDC uses a location-based search engine, so it’s really as simple as submitting your location (or travel destination), and browsing the events and members in your area. The nearest group sex may be a lot closer to home than you imagined, which is really one of the most eye-opening things about using SDC.
Adult Friend Finder
Ah, Adult Friend Finder, or as the vets of online hookups call it, AFF.
It’s like the godfather of casual hookup sites. But why’s it a solid bet for finding orgies?
The strength of Adult Friend Finder is in the numbers game. The site boasts millions of users from all over the world, and unlike dating apps like Tinder or Match, the users on this site are looking exclusively for a good time. With members located in just about every corner of the globe, you can tap in to all kinds of kinky networks, whether you’re looking for straight, gay, lesbian, or BDSM orgies.
AFF has dedicated groups and communities which are ideal for spotting group sex opportunities. Once you’ve set up your profile, you can build a shortlist of local communities and scour for fellow orgy-lovers. It’s no coincidence that they are usually some of the most vocal users on the site!
The downside of AFF is the obvious bots and spam profiles — the site is in dire need of a clear-out. Come on guys, somebody needs to drop the hammer on the thousands of abandoned profiles, the annoying bots, and thinly-veiled escort agencies.
The good news is that if you can navigate through the spammy waters, no other site can touch AFF for its sheer scale of hookup opportunities.
Kasidie
Kasidie is a solid option for finding orgies in your area, mainly if you’re based in the US.
Designed for swingers, adventurous couples, singles, and groups, Kasidie caters to anyone looking for group sex and open-minded connections. It’s often compared to SDC, with both platforms excelling at linking users to local swinger communities. Kasidie tends to attract a slightly younger crowd than SDC, but this varies by location.
What sets Kasidie apart is its strong focus on community. It’s not just about quick hookups. It’s about building connections with like-minded people, which is key for trust-based experiences like orgies.
Signing up is easy: create a profile, upload some photos, and add a description to catch interest. Members can ‘like’ your profile or send flirty responses, and you can search for matches by filtering for your city or town.
Kasidie also has an extensive section dedicated to swinger events, parties, and weekend getaways. If there’s an orgy happening near you, chances are you’ll find it listed here.
FetLife
FetLife is like the rebellious younger brother of adult hookup sites. It’s dark, it’s kinky, and it’s certainly not for everyone. But if you’re into the fetish scene, this little playground is home to some seriously dirty orgies.
Unlike more mainstream adult dating sites, FetLife is unmistakably kink-friendly. It focuses specifically on the fetish and BDSM community. If your interest in orgies overlaps with a love for kink, FetLife could be a goldmine for you.
The site has 11,885,663 members as of March 2025. I found 28,439 local events listed, including bondage themed play parties, gangbangs, orgies, ‘local munches’, and kinky workshops. It’s even got some decent options for scouting out local glory holes.
FetLife users regularly create groups based on their interests. You can swoop through and find groups dedicated to orgies or group sex. Join the discussion and it won’t be long until a stream of meet-ups and private events are on your radar.
Meetup
https://www.meetup.com/topics/celebrate-sensuality/
Meetup.com, you say?
I know what you’re thinking: “Hey, isn’t that where I find local book clubs and hiking groups?”
Yep, but it’s also a good place to find sex-positive swinger groups in your local area.
There’s a Meetup group for just about everything, and that includes sex workshops, swinger club nights, and even groups specifically focused on orgies.
My favorite section of the site for orgy-hunting is the Sensuality Meetups category. This is home to 482 private groups, with most based in North America.
Meetup.com is nowhere near as explicit as SDC, AFF or Kasidie, but this helps to widen its appeal to a user base that wouldn’t be found on those sites. Worth a look if you are based near a major city.
OK, I’m Tempted: But Is An Orgy A Good Idea?
Well, that’s the million dollar question!
Orgies aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s perfectly fine. I came away from my first session feeling a weird combination of exhilarated and filthy. Like I’d broken down a wall that could never be repaired.
I was not in a relationship at the time. In retrospect, I had very little to lose except the contents of my bollocks and the spare change in my jean pockets. Readers in stable long-term relationships will have much more pause for thought, and rightfully so.
So here’s the key question I’d be asking myself:
Am I The Jealous Type?
If you get jealous easily, I would run a million miles from turning up to an orgy with your significant other.
There’s a substantial overlap between swingers and orgy participants. Often, people bring their significant other to get in on the fun. A couple may already have interest in the ‘hotwife’ lifestyle, and an orgy is a red-hot way to explore this fantasy. Others may simply be interested in a threesome or a foursome.
But an orgy isn’t right for every couple. You’ve got to be sure that you’re okay with your partner engaging in play with others and vice versa. A group sex party is not the best setting to suddenly realise that you or your partner prefer the fantasy to the reality of polygamous sex.
Crucially, it’s important to have a way of backing down if either of you feel uncomfortable at the event. It doesn’t matter how you do this. It could be a safe word, a certain sideways glance, or simply a “Maria, it’s time for us to fuck off home.“
Communication is key!
Why Safety and Trust Is Essential
This is another no-brainer.
Everyone going into the event needs to trust, value, and respect one another. Otherwise, trust me, it’ll turn in to an unmitigated disaster.
Many orgies take place within the circles of close-knit sex-positive communities. As you’ve probably realised by now, these circles are closely guarded and it’s not as simple as turning up at the door if you want to get involved. This is by design.
When it comes to safety, it goes beyond just the physical aspect. There are emotional and psychological safety factors to consider too. A safe space is one where everyone feels free to express their desires, fears, and boundaries without fear of judgment, violation, or harm.
Spontaneous orgies with groups of strangers might feel ‘sexy’ in the moment, but you are much more likely to regret these encounters if they are poorly planned and driven by excess boozing.
The importance of using protection and regularly getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases cannot be overstated. Nothing spoils the party like a neglect for STIs and STDs.
Orgies With Friends
You might not think of your existing friend circle as the most likely way to experience an orgy, but if you read through ‘first time orgy’ experiences, you’ll notice a common theme:
- “I was introduced to the group by my friend…“
- “A friend invited my partner and I to…“
- “My friend and I were drinking and we started talking about…“
You already know and trust your friends, which provides some much needed security when venturing into the unknown world of orgies. We might associate group sex parties with hedonistic strangers, but in reality, most orgy participants know at least 1 or 2 ‘friends’ at the party.
Is it a good idea to have an orgy with friends?
My advice is to choose your friends very wisely in this situation. The mixing of friendship and sexual activities can lead to complex emotional situations. Unresolved feelings, jealousy, or misunderstandings can arise. It’s almost inevitable.
Combining booze with friends who aren’t in to ‘the lifestyle’ is too often a recipe for a regret, which leads us to…
Do People Regret Sex Parties?
Sometimes.
By far the most common source of regret is for couples where one partner is not as fully invested as the other. Feelings of jealousy and guilt are not uncommon. You might not be the ‘jealous type’, and your partner might not be either… but there’s nothing like an orgy to put this theory to the test.
Another negative emotion to deal with is shame. Our monogamous society is not exactly geared towards fucking around with multiple strangers in sex parties. If you know that it’s something you want to explore, this is a good starting point. But if the idea feels tempting because you’re horny and drunk, it may well end up being something you regret.
Spot the recurring theme here? Booze.
Some lifestyles are best explored through careful choice. Not through inhibition-lowering intoxication.
An orgy falls 100% in the ‘careful choice’ category.
Prepping For Your First Orgy
Want to know what to expect from your first time orgy experience?
I can’t recommend this highly enough: do your research.
Read Other First Time Orgy Experiences
Honestly, nothing shines a light on the good, bad and ugly of orgy sex quite like reading other first-time experiences. This is the best thing you can do to prepare yourself for the sexual adventure that awaits.
By reading other first time experiences, you will get a feel for the emotional ride. The nerves, the mental roadblocks, the sizzling excitement, the possible regrets. The absolute stench as the night draws to a close. (Seriously, sex shared between large groups of strangers in various state of sweat is not a pleasant aroma.)
I recommend trawling through Reddit and Quora for some fascinating accounts:
- How was your first orgy experience? [Quora]
- What was your orgy experience like? [Reddit]
Community boards on sites like SDC and Kasidie are another great resource.
Familiarise yourself with both the success stories and the epic failures. You’ll quickly get a sense for whether your interest in orgies is best kept as a fantasy, or experienced in real life.
Understand It’s Not All About The Sex
If great sex were the only ingredient for a successful orgy, every single one would be legendary.
But the truth is, sex is just one part of the equation. The best orgies thrive on connection, mutual respect, and a genuinely fun atmosphere.
Some people hear “sex-positive community” and think, “Great, I need to get laid.”
Bad idea.
Don’t expect another invite if you show up, get off, and bolt. Orgies aren’t drive-thru experiences. That doesn’t mean you need to be the life of the party or work the room like a politician. But being present, respectful, and open to connection makes all the difference.
Play your part, and you’ll find yourself welcomed back again and again.
